My good friend Donn sent me these to jokes when I desperately need some good laughs.
Enjoy!
We’ve all heard about people having guts or balls. But do
you really know the difference between them? In an effort to
keep you informed, the definition for each is listed below
…
GUTS – is arriving home late after a night out with the guys
, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts
to ask: “Are you still cleaning, or are you flying
somewhere?”
BALLS – is coming home late after a night out with the guys,
smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar,
slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say:
“You’re next.”
I hope this clears up any confusion on the subject.
********************
Flight Attendant
My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant,
who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks.
As the plane prepared to descend,
he came swishing down the aisle and told us that
“Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he’ll be landing the big scary
plane shortly,
so lovely people,
if you could just put your trays up, that would be super.”
On his trip back up the aisle,
he noticed this well-dressed and rather Arabic looking woman hadn’t moved a
muscle.
“Perhaps you didn’t hear me over those big brute engines
but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo,
so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground.”
She calmly turned her head and said,
“In my country, I am called a Princess and I take orders from no one.”
To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat,
“Well, sweet- cheeks, in my country I’m called a Queen, so I outrank you.
Tray-up, Bitch.”